Sunday 1 May 2011 @ 23:36
that thing inside of you
you know that voice thats always in your head that always assumes things that isn't true then you end up beating yourself up with thoughts that aren't true. I wish I could get past that voice and do my own thing, I don't need a fake person in my head to remind me what I'm doing right or wrong, everyone looks for compliments like ' good job' and actually mean it. But because of you, you always assume things like she doesn't like you cause your too quiet' when it could mean something totally different. & yeah, I know I'm fat and ugly, but you don't have to remind me every frickin day of my life, if I wanna get skinner or prettier, I would do it. You of all people should know that I hate to do something when I'm constantly being reminded to do it. I'm not that great of a person, not actually funny, nice, trustworthy and other shit. I have 3 different faces and each one is deeper then the other. One at school, one at home, and the other when I'm hiding in my room. The last one is my true self, the one that no one will ever find out, because I'm scared no one will like me and start to assume things. Peer pressure and lack of confidence really screws you up in life, especially when no one is there to help you up when you fall. Negative comments really do get to me, I just pretend like other people that it doesn't because I'm not ready to show my real self.
I don't even know what the fuck I'm writing, I just want someone who I can trust in this fake world. Do I actually have any friends?
I don't want 'friends' who doubt me, 2 face, back stab me. I just want someone who will understand and actually care about me.
I'm super self conscious, my outer appearance, personality, I just wanna make friends and to be loved. Is it that hard especially in a world like this?
|
profile
introduction
KATIE HO
HEY, I`m 15, Chinese, and like to cheat on girls and guys ;) sup aron and sandy <3
I`m ordinary but welcome to my world. ♥
Best viewed with Chrome/Firefox.
bolditalicunderlinestrikeout
|
Sunday 1 May 2011 @ 23:36
that thing inside of you
you know that voice thats always in your head that always assumes things that isn't true then you end up beating yourself up with thoughts that aren't true. I wish I could get past that voice and do my own thing, I don't need a fake person in my head to remind me what I'm doing right or wrong, everyone looks for compliments like ' good job' and actually mean it. But because of you, you always assume things like she doesn't like you cause your too quiet' when it could mean something totally different. & yeah, I know I'm fat and ugly, but you don't have to remind me every frickin day of my life, if I wanna get skinner or prettier, I would do it. You of all people should know that I hate to do something when I'm constantly being reminded to do it. I'm not that great of a person, not actually funny, nice, trustworthy and other shit. I have 3 different faces and each one is deeper then the other. One at school, one at home, and the other when I'm hiding in my room. The last one is my true self, the one that no one will ever find out, because I'm scared no one will like me and start to assume things. Peer pressure and lack of confidence really screws you up in life, especially when no one is there to help you up when you fall. Negative comments really do get to me, I just pretend like other people that it doesn't because I'm not ready to show my real self.
I don't even know what the fuck I'm writing, I just want someone who I can trust in this fake world. Do I actually have any friends?
I don't want 'friends' who doubt me, 2 face, back stab me. I just want someone who will understand and actually care about me.
I'm super self conscious, my outer appearance, personality, I just wanna make friends and to be loved. Is it that hard especially in a world like this?
|
|
|
